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It's not even bullying anymore..

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BenSovereign

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 8:45 am

Does bullying usually stem from parents or a family member? The bullies I encountered in my adolescence always seemed to have either very stern or nonexistent fathers.

I feel for the boy's family, and I feel for the children that now must live with this on their hands, and their parents as well. It's one thing to imagine losing a child, it's another to imagine your child causing the death of another child. I feel for this young boy being deprived of living a full life, but admire his ability to be in touch with the wisdom and enveloping truth we all toil with our keyboards in search of.

As a DA where would you even turn, as a parent what would you do?

Press charges? Seek retribution? Forgiveness?

The best thing those parents could do is in time try to forgive the boys but also never let them forget what they did (possibly turning them into anti-bullies or motivational speakers i dunno). I grew up fast and was overweight my whole life. Always kind've funny how just like the cartoons I'd end up best buddies with the smallest dude in the class room. The one who appeared the way I truly felt inside at the time I reckon.
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ktg

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 5:50 pm

Now, normally I'm against anyone laying hands on my kids- but here's the thing. I recall when it was legal to have paddling in schools. If the system would stop worrying about being soft ass self-esteemer’s and bring back the school spankings then maybe this type of shit will simmer down. Granted, discipline starts in the home- but let's be real, parents can't sit with their kids while they're in school so we do expect the school authorities to take a level of responsibility. Bullying should have a 0 tolerance- strike one PADDLE, anything else should be on a warning system before the paddle. I mean, if you have Timmy beating the hell out of little Tommy and the teacher says , "GO TO THE PRINCIPAL, TIMMY!" What's the most that's going to happen to little bad assed Timmy? He's gonna miss recess? He gets suspended for a day? C'mon WHOOP LITTLE TIMMY'S ASS! Show him there will be consequences for his actions, and purposely hurting someone is WRONG! TOUGH LOVE! Parent's don't like it? TOUGH SHIT! Send that bad assed child to private school, if you can't afford it or prefer them in public school the you'll have to deal with your child getting his ass whooped for bullying another child. Ummmm, it's gotten this serious!

/rant


As you were. :evil:
ktg wrote:
Illuminaughty wrote:It's not just a name, it's a lifestyle.

So are condoms... just sayin :twisted:
jashutson13 wrote:pssstttttt.... I don't think you would be needing condoms. I don't think girl on girl action requires one.
Onyx wrote:Illuminaughty is a guy lol


>_<
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justjess

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 6:32 pm

hitting a child will not teach them that hitting is wrong.

u wont strike fear into them.. all u will do is ensure they find better ways of making sure they do it when no teacher will catch them.. increase cyber bully etc.
Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object. The difference is that is not all she wants to be. ~Betty Rollin

"I don't really aspire to being rational. I'm more attracted to the irrational," she says. "There's no such thing as total rationality. That's something I've realized lately." - Scarlet Johansson
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BenSovereign

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 6:42 pm

"hitting a child will not teach them that hitting is wrong."
This is true, it will teach them that their actions were wrong when given proper context and when strike placement is not to any vital areas (chest, groin, head, kidneys, etc.). It will not teach them that "hitting is wrong" it will teach them that there are consequences of their actions and my spanking them is a lot better than being an adult and going to prison for acting insane and rash.

Jess, were you disciplined physically as a child or beaten or neither?

I see a clear lines between all three. Being struck in the proper place once or twice usually goes a long way to where a simple threat will suffice. I know this may seem brutal, but the world will discipline my child I do not, and if they do not, they will discipline me (parents can be held responsible for children's crimes). Society has a system of rewards and consequences, would I not be naive to keep my child unaware of this on their way to adulthood? I do not wish to force them to behave, but my wishes are idealism. When I was four I punched my eight year old sister square in her nose, my pops gave me a whooping not a beating (two or three big pops on the behind), I cried like hell. Never have hit a woman since.

When you send your child to a public school you in essence entrust your child to the school. In essence for that school day, the teachers and admin are the legal guardians of those children. I think schools should have the right to paddle under this legal context. You don't like it, teach your own children or send them to a school that doesn't paddle. Of course this won't happen except in the most rural of areas (where paddling is still allowed and they don't have these discussions).
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justjess

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 7:00 pm

there are other ways to discipline a child. i dont approve of beating children. a spanking is one thing, though i only think it should be done sparingly because many many parents do not even do that appropriately. there are other reward and consequence systems to put in place without becoming physically violent.

if the school wants to start physically disciplining children then maybe they should start actually WATCHING them and following through on there end first.

and how i was disciplined as a child really has no relevance.
Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object. The difference is that is not all she wants to be. ~Betty Rollin

"I don't really aspire to being rational. I'm more attracted to the irrational," she says. "There's no such thing as total rationality. That's something I've realized lately." - Scarlet Johansson
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ktg

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 7:01 pm

justjess wrote:hitting a child will not teach them that hitting is wrong.

u wont strike fear into them.. all u will do is ensure they find better ways of making sure they do it when no teacher will catch them.. increase cyber bully etc.



I agree to an extent, I don't believe in the abuse of a child but to be honest I'm not above spankings (or ass whoopins) as a form a discipline. (Yes, she goes into yet another anecdote :D)- Not too long ago I was having a problem with my 5 y/o son misbehaving at school. Well in addition to the teachers putting him on timeout or "the sad wall" I've tried scolding, punishments, talking with him and his teachers, etc... It changed nothing. It had gotten to the point that he was starting to hit some of the boys in the class- he even went as far as hitting another child over the head with a wooden block. Well that was the last straw for me, aside from giving his teachers hell for a while he escalated to physically hurting other children. I teach him (them) better than that, much better than the behavior they were displaying. So when we got home he got a spanking and I mean a good one. Of course I didn't spank him out of anger and frustration (I never deal with my children when I'm feeling that way, because I'm not an abuser), I spanked him to teach him that his actions will not go unpunished. After I talked to him and explained that he's had multiple chances to pull it together without getting a spanking yet he didn’t' head the warnings. I also reminded him of how his is to behave himself at school and respect his teachers the way he respects me, as well as his peers. From there the rule was there's a 0 tolerance policy, I warn you ONCE on our way in and remind you of what my expectations are- you fail to follow that then that's your ass when you get home- if you do well you'll get rewarded. This happened a couple weeks ago, since then he's only gotten a spanking the first two days. Now when I pick him up he's getting great feedback, not only that he's actually proud of himself for meeting my expectations. Though I prefer not to use this form of punishment I think in certain cases it's necessary, some kids just don't take you seriously unless you take it to the next level.

I totally get where you're coming from, but honestly if spankings or paddling are not getting the child in line then it may be time to home school that child all together. :crazy:
ktg wrote:
Illuminaughty wrote:It's not just a name, it's a lifestyle.

So are condoms... just sayin :twisted:
jashutson13 wrote:pssstttttt.... I don't think you would be needing condoms. I don't think girl on girl action requires one.
Onyx wrote:Illuminaughty is a guy lol


>_<
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justjess

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 7:39 pm

im happy it worked out for u.. and that u truly understand what a spanking is for and how to do it correctly

u know what i do for work. u can understand why im hesitant to encourage physical discipline.. most parents do NOT know how to do it properly and it has the potential to get out of hand real quick and be real ugly. teachers too.. just look at that store clerk who snapped and beat the little boy in the store. thats what i would be worried of if overly stressed teachers dealing with a lot of small children all day were given the ability/permission to start hitting children
Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object. The difference is that is not all she wants to be. ~Betty Rollin

"I don't really aspire to being rational. I'm more attracted to the irrational," she says. "There's no such thing as total rationality. That's something I've realized lately." - Scarlet Johansson
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Onyx

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 7:41 pm

I almost wasn't going to reply about the whole spanking thing but my mind wont let me let it go. First, let me express how sad the situation is about the baby who died as a direct result of bullying. I was bullied hardcore in school and I know how the shit feels. I have also had friend commit suicide because they were constantly being harassed and bullied. The difference between them and me was the fact that I started fighting back. I got into enough fights to where the bullies would leave me alone after a sound and hearty ass whoopin. No, hitting a child will not teach them that hitting is wrong but it damn sure will teach them that if they hit they can be hit back and how bad the shit hurts. Ultimately making them not want to hit (unless they are masochistic). I did bad stuff as a kid and was always fearful of getting a spanking. My brothers and I were well mannered kids. We knew that if we messed up then we would suffer the consequences. When I got older and no longer got spankings is when I started hitting hard. I did whatever I wanted because getting yelled at didn't hurt me. Didn't phase me. I agree with KTG if the schools started disciplining again, these kids would act right. Although I would rather deal with my children's behavior than have someone at school do it. A lot of parents don't give a fuck anymore. They send their kids to school and then they go to work and don't care about anything that goes on at school. Sad but reality! When I was being bullied, my mother came up to the school, told the teacher to get on their jobs, cussed out the principal and even talked to the other kids parents. Who is taking action like this in the schools anymore? When I drop my child off at school, I expect them to be kept safe even when the teachers are on "break" It breaks my heart to see how much this is escalating and how many children are dying because of this. Yes children can be cruel but the worst of them are those who have no discipline at school or at home.
Darkness can not drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate can not drive out hate, only LOVE can do that!~ Martin Luther King Jr
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ktg

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 7:46 pm

justjess wrote:im happy it worked out for u.. and that u truly understand what a spanking is for and how to do it correctly

u know what i do for work. u can understand why im hesitant to encourage physical discipline.. most parents do NOT know how to do it properly and it has the potential to get out of hand real quick and be real ugly. teachers too.. just look at that store clerk who snapped and beat the little boy in the store. thats what i would be worried of if overly stressed teachers dealing with a lot of small children all day were given the ability/permission to start hitting children

Oh yes, jess, don't get me wrong. I certainly understand your position. Think we both were on the same side of the tracks where that store clerk was concerned. But doing what you do I'm sure you see a lot of sh*t that's mind blowing on a constant basis, so naturally this would be a more sensitive subject for you.
ktg wrote:
Illuminaughty wrote:It's not just a name, it's a lifestyle.

So are condoms... just sayin :twisted:
jashutson13 wrote:pssstttttt.... I don't think you would be needing condoms. I don't think girl on girl action requires one.
Onyx wrote:Illuminaughty is a guy lol


>_<
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Onyx

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Re: It's not even bullying anymore..

PostTue Mar 05, 2013 7:51 pm

Oh and to add.. If my child is being bullied, you better believe that I am gonna want answers. I will take it to the board if I have to. I made it a point to meet with the superintendent and I'm not scared to go straight to him if a situations arises and nothing is being done about it. I will play absolutely no games with this. I KNOW what it's like to be bullied and if more parents would respond like that then it could remove much of the problem. I already told my child that if she has to defend herself to do it. I wont stand for her being picked on and I wont let her or my son stand for it either.
Darkness can not drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate can not drive out hate, only LOVE can do that!~ Martin Luther King Jr
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